Even though I went to sleep late, I woke up around 11am local time. First things first, I need a mobile and I need to find a supermarket. I Stop off for a bite to eat first, not gonna lie the food here tastes great but as it is mostly fried, it isn't that heathly. I had a chorizo style hot dog with fries and salad washed down with a strawberry and tangerine smoothie at a small restaurant a few blocks away from where I was staying.
The locals are all friendly, I tell the restaurant owner (juan carlos) that I need a phone and a spanish teacher. He takes me down the road to a mobile phone sales and repairs shop, kindda like the Somalian ones we have in london except no somalians. I buy the cheapest phone in the shop as I will only need it to make and receive calls for a few weeks. Juan carlos then rings one of his waitresses who also works at the university as a French and English teacher. She speaks 5 languages including manderin and she will teach me. I leave my number with Juan carlos and search for the local supermarket using the tourist map.
This is where my Ritmo Latino brother Julian MrM is missed. Normally, when we venture abroad that dude is like tomtom on legs and a hat with that dude, I never get lost. I, on the other hand, read maps like a girl (no offence ladies but u do suck at reading maps). I find the supermarket eventually and buy all my essentials and head back
I arrive back at my home away from home greeted by two other visiters, Farid and wait for it....OCEAN, just when i thought BISKIT FONTS was the best name on the scene, along comes OCEAN.
Farid is of middle eastern decent but grew up in Germany, dude has lived all over the world and is living in Cali now, he speaks fluent spanish, english and portuguese.
Now OCEAN is an American guy i would say in his late 30's going on 20 and kinda looks like a hippyish version of Richard Gere. They are both very serious about their salsa and attend classes almost everyday. We exchange numbers and I retire in my room for a while. I wake up at 6pm have a quick shower and meet the guys downstairs everyone is there Ocean, Farrid, about five girls that i havent met yet and of course Ricardo and his campana. Ocean surprises me the most because in Cali he stands out like a black dude in the klukuxklan. The local heads love him, he has a hot calena girlfriend and he speaks fluently.
We make our way to "Manicero" for a salsa class. Ricardo, eager to close the deal on his French girl suggests that after the class we go to a club called "Siboney" (a salsa club similar to "Chango"). Ocean and Farrid are reluctant to go anywhere as they are saving their energy for Thursday night. Apparently, Thursday is a banging night to go out in Cali. When we get out the taxi , Ocean whispers to me "Sorry dude but I had to say that infront of my girl, she is flying out to Bogota tomorrow so lets go out tomorrow and Thursday and i'll show you what Cali's about ".
We get to "Manicero" just in time. The Lady who teaches there also teaches the national ballet acadamy and has taught the likes of Nadeem and the legendary Jose Polanco (both well known cali salsa teachers).
Lessons there were cheap. It came up to £2 for a two hour lesson. As it was my first time there, I took the level 2 class, Farid & Ocean took the level 3. Ricardo on the other hand said "The level here is too low for me" so he sat and watched the tourist chicks in the class, which to my surprise, there weren't that many. The class was filled with Calenos!! WHAT?? You would never see in London a salsa class full of Latinos... no way!.
Ocean introduced me to a nice girl called Adriana who spoke a little English and she gave me her number in order to arrange a meeting to have an "intercambio" (meetup and exchange languages)."Mmmmmm... she's not too bad looking either" I say to Ocean, He replies: "errrrr yeh but the rule we have here is, we don't do anything with the girls from the class, as we don't ever want a reason to stop coming to. classes". He goes on to explain that "there are loads of girls that are hotter than her anyway, trust me bro you'll see how it works when my girls leaves" . I thought Ricardo was a confident dude but Ocean has no self esteem issues what so ever.
The lesson finishes 30 minutes early and for the last remaining time we learn some Dominican Bachata, (my speciality). I found the lesson a little to easy for my liking so next time I think I'll join level 3. On the taxi ride back Ricardo says "we have to go to "Siboney" tonight", Ocean objects stongly to going out, so looks like its just me and Ricardo tonight again. Ocean comes over to me again when the cab stops and says "I wish I could join you guys tonight but I got to chill with my girl tonight, tomorrow, I promise bro.. we're gonna party!". I am very curious 2 find out what this guy can really do, as he seems to be able to talk a very good game. Hmmmmm, guess we'll found out tomorrow. Tonight however, its me, Ricardo, the French girls and Siboney baby!
Its 10 o'clock and am dressed up and ready to hit Siboney. I go downstairs to find Ricardo with his campana, raring to go. He seems very sure that he is gonna get with his French girl tonight. Speaking of French girls, I receive a call from Sabine, (Owner, teacher, marketer and director of the Colombian salsa school in London CALI SALSA UK). Sabine has a passion for Cali like no other, with the exception of Ocean. She almost seems more excited that im here than I am, infact I think she is.We speak for a while as she is eager to know where I'm planning to go as she seems to know all the hots spots, places only calenos really know. After a few minutes I pass the phone over to Ricardo and they end up talking for about 10 minutes. It seems now Ricardo has plans for another French gal as she is planning to come in 3 weeks time. (I can't wait to see this meeting).
Ricardo manages to persuade a couple of girls from "Tostaky" (the place we are staying at ); to join us, which I thought was a bad move as he liked one of the girls and of course was planning to Deflower the French girl later tonight. So we get a taxi to "Siboney" in Menga (the new party town were all the calenos go). We arrive at Siboney and similar to chango the decor is amazing. Beautiful women everywhere, again accompanied by their damm boyfriends. Even the devil on my shoulder is telling me "tonight you better behave bro, this is no place to pull the Coco stunt". Which reminds "oh yes coco". I sent her a message telling her to come to "Chango" if she was free.
The only drawback to going out in cali, especially for someone like myself who doesnt drink is, in order to sit down at a table at a good club, YOU MUST BUY DRINKS and not just a beer, a coulple of bottles. Split between a few people, this isn't too expensive. Anyway, we get a table and order some bottles and dance with the girls from Tostaky. Ricardo is working one of the girls Jennifer (lady from the US, who i would guess is in her early 40's but has the body of a chick in her mid 20's). When the French girls arrive he divides his attention between the two girls not giving anything away(very smooth). I on the other dance with everyone and didn't have any intentions of getting with anyone, although one of the French girls, lets call her Joli, is looking better than last time (it's amazing what high heels can do for a girl). As I am dancing with with Joli, again I catch a hot caramel hottie who is with a dude clocking me. She keeps smiling at me but unlike at "CHANGO" there is no window of opportunity to catch a dance, I just stick with the group I came with.
As the night progresses and the drinks are flowing I decide to venture out of the group for a bit and dance with girls that seem like they are "solteras". Again none of them did any crazy fast footwork as that style of dancing is more for shows but they all dance with a lot of sabor and the hip wiggle is amazing. Now when the music is slow ,the calenas (latinos in general) dance what I like to call "Bouncy Salsa" where the coulples dance really close together and make very small, smooth, bouncy (NOT JUMPY) movements, its like your bodies become one. It is a very romantic way to dance with a partner of any age.
Again, I am flattered that people there think I'm from Cali, this allows me to blend in more and feel more comfortable. Even though I was warned that there are a lot of mafia dudes there I don't ever feel at risk in there as I think everyone is there to enjoy themselves and even the gangster types dudes are singing and dancing just as much as everyone.
Now a couple of hours later Jennifer is wasted so her friend takes her back home. Again I play wingman to Ricardo and dance with the reamining two French girls. I still see caramel girl is clocking but still no damm window. Joli is now being a bit flirtacious (must be the the pin stripe shirt im wearing) and she is becoming a little territorial when were dancing as she notices Caramella watching aswell.
Angel tells me: "bro , stick with Joli, she is cool, doesnt look too bad in heels and she can teach you French and Spanish, You don't want a girl like Caramella , how could you trust her when she is flirting with you whilst she is with her man"
Devil interrutps: "Bro Joli can't dance and Caramella is hotter than a week Africa. Just be patient and wait the window". Once again I turn to my guardian Angel and say: "SORRY buddy, gotta go with Devil on this one" and as soon as I turn around I see Caramella sitting alone......my window has arrived!
OK, I waste no time in steping to Caramela and say the magic world "bailamos", she accepts and we have a nice dance, bit of basicos and a bit of bouncy . She wasn't as warm as I thought she would be but I guess she was aware her dude could come back at any moment, which he does. Dude just sits there and watches us. Caramela asks me: "whats ur name?". I reply: "Biskit Fonts, but my freinds call me Fonts", she says: "quuuuuuuuuuuue...........FONZE?" Right there i realized Fonts wasnt gonna work, as the way the she pronounced it sounded like she was calling me the Fonze(from happy days) I said: "just call me Galleta( biscuit/cookie in spanish) " She said: "Biskit , I will look for you on facebook". I look over at my shoulder again and say: "Devil you were right buddy".
I return to my table and leave Caramela alone for the rest of the night and just focus on my wingman duties. Now here's the situation. There is 5 of us at the table me, Ricardo, Joli , Ricardo's girl and another friend. The friend decides she wants to leave so she gets a taxi back to her hotel. Now this puts me in a situation where I feel like I have to look after Joli so I dedicate the next hour to teaching her how to dance bouncy salsa, which is not easy. We end up talking and she is actually really kool and quite smart. Ricardo is already kissing his gal at our table. Looks like he is in there. He turns to me and says "these girls want us bro", I tell him: "i'm ok but u go with ur girl and i will get a taxi back 2 tostaky". Ricardo says: "noooooo, my girl wont leave her friend, stay with her please" . I explain that I only like her as a friend and if he wants to get with his chick he should meet you with her another time alone. "we have 2 do it 2nite" he says. I reply: "bro chill out, there's no rush" and says: "yes there is, they are leaving tomorrow morning", we have to do it tonight, "te lo digo que quieren sexo" (i am not translating this). We dance and drink till about 5 am , Caramela comes to say bye and we decide to leave "Siboney".
We get outside the club and by this time both girls are wasted. Ricardo tells the girls that he knows a spot where we can continue the party. We jump in a cab and all four of us are in the back. Ricardo is getting down with his chick like he's behind close doors. We end up at a spot called the "Kiss me motel", now the motels in Cali are different from the 1's in the states. Basically they are elaboratly decorated, themed motels which are designed for couples who haven't got anywhere to go to have....RELATIONS. We walk inside and Straight away Ricardo books two rooms. His room was decorated like a jungle and my room had a kind of Inca / Aztec theme to it with statues and ornaments posted around the room. I felt like i was in Lima...1000 years ago!
I was still undecided to what I wanted to do about Joli. So I turned to my two advisors.
Devil said: "Do it but tell her 2 keep her heels on", Angel on the other hand said: "nah forget it , look at her she is smashed and you don't want to take advantage of a girl when she is drunk like that , on top of that she is kinda kool ". Angel was right, even though I did want to, iIjust couldn't, not like this. We just ended up chilling in the Aztec room, listening to music on the sound system provided. I must have fallen asleep an hour later and didn't get up till about 9am. As we had 2 check out i knocked on Ricardo's door , he answers the door barely covered by a small towel and his girl was walkg around the room naked not caring that I was there. "mmmm nice buns" Anyway we drop the girls back to their place and Ricardo brags about his conquest in full, graphic detail. Before parting our seperate ways Ricardo says bro "thanks for looking after the friend tonight, I don't tknow what's happening tomorrow but I am gonna investigate and come up with a plan" Dude is like a black , latino version of Hanibal from the A-Team.
When i arrive back to my room, I realise two things:
1. I havn't met swing latino yet
2. I have my first private spanish lesson with the local teacher in Cali , Leandro, in 2 hours time.
Not quite what I had in mind but netherless I had a good night and got to see a litle bit of Peru in Cali. Although Ricardo has a plan for tomorrow I would rather chill out get some rest and go all out on Thursday. The adventures of Puglyboy Biskit will continue just not tomorrow!
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