Wednesday 8 September 2010

Captain's Log - Day 4 of The Adventures of Ritmo Latino in Cali, Colombia: "Solos y Solas - Singles Night" & Pastel De Chocolate

"Solos y Solas"

I wake up at 12 again with only an hour to get showered, changed and do my spanish homework(feels like GCSE'S all over again). I have a 2hr lesson with Leandro, which runs well , although gramatically i realize how much i suck, as normally when i talk 2 people, they understand what i'm trying to say so they just let my mistakes slide ohhhhhh but not Leandro. During the lessons I am bombarded by calls from Coco who is really keen to meet up tonight. I explain to her that i am in a spanish lesson but she doesnt seem to care.


After the lesson I decide to go and get some well deserved rest for a couple of hours and I wake up at 6pm to the sound of everyone talking outside. Ricardo and Ocean are discussing the plan for night, which I must say sounds pretty good. First stop, "Parque De La Cana" for a solos y solas night. I have been told this night has over 2,000 people, dancing salsa and more importantantly on the singles vibe. The night finishes at 2am then a bus called "La Chiva" will take us from the club to "Chango". The idea is to pick up the single ladies we meet at Parque and take them to Chango to close the deal. Now the only problem is Ocean's girl is coming back tomorrow night and Buxy wants to come out tonight. I am like "hell no, we cant bring dates 2 a singles night, it kinda defeats the point bro" Ocean agrees but replies: "yeh i hear u bro but i kinda wanna get with this this girl at least once b4 my girl gets back" and then he adds: " Her friend Petty is asking if u want to see her". Once again I felt like I was gonna be on wing man duty. Reluctantly, I agree to going to Parque with Buxy and Petty.


We head down to a little "tiendarita", where they make you fresh burgers on the street. These burgers are packed and have almost every inside them(including crisps). So we discuss the plan in further detail. My problem was that I did like Petty but not enough to give up a solos y solas night and plus I wanted to see what else was on on the menu. Ricardo was happy as Jennifer and some of her tourist friends were coming out here because there are so many hot olive skinned and chocolate girls, a white European looking girl in Cali is seen as exotic and it seems as though Ricardo would choose an average looking European girl, over a hot Latina and many other Calenos here share the same mentality. As the night progresses a dude arrives at Tostaky, who is from Mexico but grew up in Miami. He decides to come with us and now we have a new addition to the gang. He kept telling me his name but i kept forgetting.

11.30 everyone is waiting to hit parque. The party ends at 2am so were already kinda late. Around 11.45pm the group decide to go down, just leaving me and Ocean at Tostaky waiting for Buxy and Petty. Ocean messages and calls Buxy and she keeps responding that she is near. Eventually at 12.30am the girls arrive and I must stay looking really hot and worth the wait. Buxy looks like a pornstar and Petty looks like a model (4 real). They are obviously aware that this is a singles night and both Buxy and Petty are not gonna be out shined by anyone and pull out all the stops.This had now made the night a little more interesting what does this night hold "THE FONTS"


"Pastel de Chocolate"


We arrive at "Parque a la Cana" and to be honest even though there were loads of people there, it wasnt as spectacular as everyone had made out to be. It was kool and there was a suprise performance there by the guys who made the "EL Bochinche" song, (this song and Chickiechoche by Dj Castro are huuuuuuge in Cali and everyone dances differently to these songs) . One thing I really like out here is that, even though people don't do much more than basic moves in the clubs, they don't just dance salsa to every single song. Back in London i have witnessed people dancing salsa to Reggaeton tracks and even RnB. I spent what little time I had talking to Petty getting to know her more. She is very interesting and a lot older than she looks but this doesnt bother me at all. She works hard  and looks after her family which I admire . We dance to almost every song as we didn't have much time left. As we are dancing my spidey senses spot a another chocolate bunny watching me. If im being honest, this one is hotter than Coco and i think is hotter than Petty aswel but only just.


Meanwhile Ocean and Buxy are dancing and Ricardo is working Jennifer and Mexican dude is finding it a little difficult to adjust to the new environment, as he has grown up in Miami , he dances Cuban salsa and a lot of the girls are struggling to follow his leads and crazy arm combos. Once again I spot chocolate bunny watching me and this time she is being a bit more obvious. I decide to turn to my advisors for help. "man stop being greedy, u got a hot , classy chick with u , who has a lot going for her, don't screw this up " says my Guardian Angel. My Guardian Devil responds: "bro look, if u play ur cards right, can get both of them, all u have 2 do is wait for the Window and u will be fine, trust me on this one" Devil was absolutly right , I just have to wait for my window. HOWEVER , Petty is kool and she seems to have a lot of qualities I like and it doesnt seem right to go for chocolate.


The party draws to an end and by this time, Cali party life is starting to catch up with me and I am feeling crazy tired. Everytime I yawn, Petty notices and takes it as personal insult and asks me "are you bored of me", i reply "no , im just really tired" but she doesnt believe me, as she is a bit paranoid because there are a lot of nice, young, single ladies out and I haven't made a solid move on her yet. We jump on  "La Chiva", this is an free mini party bus that has loud music and people dancing to various music (salsa, reggaeton and electonica). As we have paid to go to Parque, we automatically get free entrance to "Chango". I was so tired by this point I kept dozing off and this was pissing Petty off. Even Buxy came over and asked if I was bored and why do I like Im not enjoying myself. I explained that it must be jeg lag and the fact that I had been out eveyday since arriving to Cali but this didn't stop Petty from getting offended. I spot Chocolate dos, on "La Chiva" with one of her friends dancing very sexily (que rica) but i could hardly keep my eyes
open.    


Soon as we arrive to "Chango" we get a table and straight away Petty orders me a redbull to wake me up a bit. We dance for a few songs and the music is amazing. Not one cheesy salsa song, no salsa in english, no salsa with the chimes and xylophones, just the really good salsa. Whether it be Cuban, Puerto Rican or Colombian salsa. 

I spot Ocean talking to guess who?... "chocolate dos" so I go over and he introduces me. Ocean tells me "she came with her friend and she wanted 2 sit at our table, but i told her we would come and dance with her and her friend later".mmmmmmmmm sounds like a window could be opening here. I go back tp the table to find Ricardo looking upset.  I ask him whats wrong and he relpies "Jennifer has left with her friends and I really wanted to be her tonight".  Mexican dude is also not having much fun as he has run out of girls he can dance with. Later on some dude comes to our table and asks Petty for a dance and she accepts. Heres the thing, normally I wouldn't mind at all BUT when you have been paying all night for a girl to come out (taxi's , bottles or at Parque and bottles at Chango), even my Guardian Angel was saying "Go and chat 2 Chocolate Dos".  Petty had given me the window and I went for it.



Luckily for me Chocolate dos was alone so I ask her to dance and even though the song was quite fast, she dances close and suave (smooth) with me. We talked for a bit whilst we we're dancing and she asks me "is that you girlfriend ?", I tell her "no, me and Ocean are just  friends with these girls" but she doesnt believe me at all. After the dance I come back to a cold and furious Petty, who is pissed cuz I danced with Coco dos. "why are you angry? you we're dancing with another dude"  she replies: "I only danced with him cuz i thought you were bored and tired and didn't want to dance" she adds: "If u dont ask me to dance then i'm gonna think that u don't want me" 

Now this seems to be a universal Latin salsa issue. Even in London, if you go to a Latin party with your girl, you don't really dance with anyone else, unless they are good friends(or part of the group) and definitley no Bachatas or Romantic salsa songs. It is seen as being disrespectful to leave the girl you came with at the table to dance with someone else. In this circumstance I felt justified as she was dancing with another dude, I guess she was angry cuz she could see chocolate dos was getting close. I told her "i like you but u need 2 sort out the jealous streak u have" she replies: "im sorry but i cant help it , i am very jealous and worried that as there are so many pretty women around u will go off with someone else" I reassure her that I am only gonna dance with her. Suddenly, a bachata song comes on and I see chocolate dos is heading for our table, I couldnt say no if she were to ask me but at the same time I dont want to break my promise to Petty. Out of nowhere I am out jumped by campanaman Ricardo, who spots my dilema and grabs Choloate dos, which leaves me free to dance with Petty and I must say she put a whole lot of sabor and carino ( affection) in that dance. Everyone else was irrelevant from this point and it was just me and Petty. Gotta thank Ricardo for the instictive wingmanship.


The music stops and the the host announces that the best dancers in the club will win a bottle of "AGUARDIENTE", now anyone who has been to a colombian house party or club, will know about this particular spirit. It is like magic potion out here, Latinos love it .So first up they hold a sexy dance competition for the girl who can do the sexiest dance to a reggaeton song. 5 girls appear on stage including chocolate dos. She was easily the hottest dancer out of the 5 but lost to one girl who basically nearly bared all. Even though I wanted chocolate dos to win, you had to give it to the semi naked chick. Next was the couples competition , we all wanted Ricardo to enter but he refused, so we just watched. Loads of couples entered so it was hard to see individuals dancing. When the music stops the winners are announced and guess who won...................OCEAN AND BUXY!!.(dude is a legend)

Just when I think Im warming up I see this dude is already on fire. The night continues and I end up getting closer to Petty, not sure whether it was my sweet talk, my smooth moves on the dancefloor or the extra bottle of Aguadiente that was the cause. Either way I wasn't complaing. I think we were the last people to leave the club at 6.30am and we all jump in the taxi back to Tostaky. Petty has to work in two hours so she needs to go home but doesnt want to leave Buxy alone, Buxy however wants to stay with Ocean. This uses a huge argument in the back of the cab between the girls. I was completely lost in translation. (i heard "MARICA" about 1,000,000 times) I never quite understood the many uses and contexts of this word untill now. The argument lasts all the way to Tostaky. In this situation the wingman is key. As Ocean has the opportunity to take Buxy to his appartment, I take Petty to an all night bakery, where we chill out and eat some empanadas (fried pastry filled with meat and potatoes) in London they cost about £3 for 2 out here in Cali they cost about 18p so i go crazy and buy about 20. 
 Ricardo walks Mexican dude to Tostaky and me and Petty chill and talk some more. she tells me "i like you a lot and i have never been with someone like you before"   "How you mean ? someone like me, u mean a black dude?"  she said "yes, i have loads of black friends but i have never been out with a black guy before" This is not the first time I have heard this before and probably not the last. She goes on to add "I am not as easy as my friend so if you want me you need to work hard" again, this is not the first time I have heard this. We chat a little longer and goes halves on a besito (little kiss).


All of sudden Ocean and Buxy return, I am thinking "dam that was quick" plus I was just getting warmed up with Petty. We let the girls the girls talk between themselves and Ocean tells me "Man i was in the middle of doing it with Buxy when the old man who lives in my apartment came in complaining about the noise. I think im just gonna take her to a motel" . The girls start arguing again cuz Buxy wants to go to a motel with Ocean and Petty wants to go home and get ready for work but doesnt want to leave Buxy alone as she is alot younger than Petty. In the end Ocean and Buxy jump into a cab and off they go. I wait with Petty for another cab and by this time Ricardo has returned from Tostaky. Petty tells me she is going away tomorrow for a couple of weeks to see her son  but wants to see me when she comes back. We wait about 10minutes for another cab and i give her a goodnight / see u in two weeks kiss goodbye.


As I walk back to Tostaky with Ricardo, he tells me "By the way that black girl gave me her number to give to you , she wants you to call her tomorrow"  Guardian Devil looks at me and says "i told u bro , get some chocolate cake now and in 2 weeks have some of that Petty pie" . Ricardo assures me tomorrow will be even better as it is Friday and everyone goes out to kick off the weekend. Another great night in Cali, I go to bed dreaming of Chocolate cake "mmmmm i wonder if this cake is gonna taste as sweet as it looks" Devil replies: "There's only 1 way 2 find out buddy"............. The adventures of Puglyboy Biskit Fonts continue.

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